Conflict
in life is unavoidable. Sometimes, when those involved are willing to work
together to resolve disputes, conflict actually leads to productivity and a
better exchange of ideas. When the involved parties are unable to do this, work
and personal relationships suffer and efficiency goes down. The reason for
this, according to Levine (2009), is that, “people in conflict posture. They
play games. They horse around. The focus is more about being right than being
effective” (p. 71). Lack of communication at the beginning of collaboration
leads to this type of behavior.
Two
years ago, I made the move the Embry-Riddle as an Academic Technology Trainer.
I had to learn how to use EagleVision, Smart Boards, and Blackboard, none of
which I had previous experience with. The person who had the same job as I did
was a teleworker. Therefore, much of our communication happened via email or
Skype and was fairly impersonal in nature. Obviously, being new and unfamiliar
with the technology, I had a lot of questions. I would frequently request time
to Skype with her. She would tell me that she was really busy and did not have
time to meet with me. Other times, she would meet but clearly had an attitude
with me that made me think I was bothering her. I felt as though I was not
welcome and more of an annoyance rather than a help to her. Levine (2009)
mentions that if you find yourself in a conflict that cannot easily be
resolved, you may find yourself in court (p. 54). In my case, I found myself in
my boss’s office pleading my case. As I was a new employee, I was hesitant to
share what was happening between the other trainer and me because I thought it
would make me look like a gossip. I shared bits and pieces of what was
happening with him until one day, the situation turned. I had asked to Skype
with her because I wanted to try to talk through the communication problems. It
was getting to the point where I wondered why I left teaching and was thinking
that I might need to go back. During the course of the discussion where I told
her what I was thinking, she appeared very reflective and apologized for making
me feel that way. The next day, she resigned. Certainly this resolution was not
what I had hoped for. Several issues exacerbated the conflict. One of the main
problems was that she was not physically in the office. It is my opinion that
she was jealous of the time I was spending with the rest of our coworkers. In
addition, our supervisor shared with me that prior to hiring me for the
position, she stated that she did not believe that she needed any help. Levine (2009) says that one of the best ways
to deal with conflict is to come to an agreement early in the process about how
you will deal with disagreements (p. 55). This communication never took place
for us.
Although
I was sad to see her go, the situation allowed for a more positive environment
at work and it also allowed me to stop focusing on the conflict and move
forward with learning about the processes and programs I needed to do my job.
Had we employed Levine’s 10 principles of new thinking, we might have had a
very different outcome (Levine, 2009, p. 46). Creating a partnership, coming to
an understanding about how to communicate effectively, and sharing what our
needs were at the beginning of the process would have eliminated the many
frustrations that I am sure we both experienced during our time as colleagues.
The disclosure of information and feelings came too late in the process and the
damage had already been done.
As a
result of this event, I made an effort to create a partnership with the person
we hired to replace her. We were open with each other about our ideas and
feelings toward the job and used the opportunity to learn from each other’s
creativity. Although he is currently not in that position anymore, we still
work together and have built a relationship that results in little to no conflict.
When conflict does arise, we know how to effectively express that to each other
and work through the issues to a resolution.
Reference:
Levine, S. (2009 ). Turning conflict into collaboration (2nd edition).
Williston, VT,: Berrett-Koehler Publishers
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