In just about every negotiation I have been involved in, I
have used facial expressions as a judge of how the other person is feeling. McKay, Davis and Fanning (2009) point
out that if you look at a magazine picture of several people and cover
everything by their faces, you can still tell a lot about how they are feeling.
You may not be able to tell what they are doing, but you can certainly tell a
lot about how they are feeling (p. 62).
As a very animated teacher, I used a lot of facial expressions to let
the students know how I was feeling. In situations at work where I have had to
negotiate, I have found it difficult to control my own facial expressions. Recently, I was involved in a
negotiation of sorts with my supervisor. We are getting ready to upgrade some
software that I train on. During this negotiation, I explained to him that I
did not feel comfortable training in the new environment because it was not
functioning as expected. In the past, he has indicated that he “had my back”
with upper management. However, I feel as though I was misled about his
feelings about the situation. I feel as though he was on my side until his boss
had a different vision. Although I understand why he would feel that way, it
still makes it difficult to trust in him next time.
Understanding how I am viewed by others is another important
tool in negotiations. The easier an individual is to read, the more likely
someone else is to gain the upper hand in the negotiation. Hoch and Kunreuther (2001) mention that
managing your reputation will help you manage the negotiation better (p. 184).
Getting input from others about what they think my style is allows me to
reflect and adapt. During a conversation with a co-worker last week, he
mentioned that I needed to calm down. He said that, in his opinion, I was
overly anxious about the topic we were discussing. I do not see myself that way
and this was an interesting perception. I was able to step back after this
interaction and assess my reaction to the situation. Although I did not feel
anxious, I could see where others might think that. Next time I go into a
similar situation, I will be forced to consideration whether or not I am
overreacting.
Body language is another indicator in negotiations. McKay,
et al. (2009), explains that body language involves arms, hands, legs, feet,
posture and even breathing are associated with nonverbal communication (pp.
63-64). If the person I am talking
to has their arms crossed, it gives the impression that he/she is not open to
what I am offering. Heavy or erratic breathing can indicate that someone is
nervous because he/she is lying.
Finally, the tone of someone’s voice can also give away a
lot during negotiations. Hoch & Kunreuther (2001) list other verbal cues to
look for such as hesitation in speech, changes in tone, slower speech,
hesitation in answering questions and the use of filler words (p. 195). These verbal cues can mean that the
negotiator is using deceptive tactics with you. My goal in negotiations is to
be as honest as I can be. I may occasionally exhibit some of these same
indictors but not because I am lying, simply because I am nervous.
Regerences: Davis, M., Fanning, P., & Mckay , M. (2009).
Messages, the communication skills book. (3rd ed.). Oakland, CA: New
Harbinger Pubns Inc.
Hoch, S. J., & Kunreuther, H. C. (2005). Wharton on
making decisions. (1 ed.). John Wiley & Sons Inc
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